To use Uncle Bob or not to use Uncle Bob, that is the question!

Your ceremony is the heart of your wedding. While most of our ideas about weddings come from movies, the truth is that weddings consist of many different behind the scene elements and moving parts that take an army of vendors to execute so that you are able to experience the romantic and magical ending portrayed in the movies. One things is for sure, Hollywood makes it look easy!

If the couple happens to be church goer, it’s an easy choice asking their Pastor. If the Pastor is available and willing to perform on their wedding day, the officiant portion of the planning is done. 

For those that don’t have a pastor or it’s a destination wedding, or even perhaps they are non religious, and for many other dynamics that complicate this issue, it comes down to making a choice of either asking a friend or relative, or hire a professional wedding officiant to lead them through the most intimate decision in their lives.

This brings us to the story of Uncle Bob, lol. To be clear, I have nothing against anyone named Bob as I have an Uncle Bob and I love him very much.

Btw, my name is Ray Alonzo and I am a professional Wedding Officiant and retired Pastor in the Orlando area. The following story is not from my own experience but was told to me by another wedding vendor, who is a harpist and a very talented and seasoned harpist to be exact.

While at the dinner table of a prominent wedding bridal event speaking with other wedding vendors, somehow the story emerged of a time where this harpist was put in a very precarious spot by no other than “Uncle Bob”.

Uncle Bob, as you might have determined, is the uncle of the couple, the bride in case you’re wondering. He was assigned to carry out the duties of calling this couple husband & wife, and with it being so easy to get officially ordained online, why not?

The couple had decided that his relationship and his charisma was all that was needed to complete the task. Besides, it had a good ring to it, “my Uncle married us”, and I can see where this would make perfect sense.

On the wedding day everything is all set and the ceremony is about to begin. The audience is seated, the wedding precessional is lined up, including Uncle Bob, mother of the bride, bridesmaids, groomsman, flower girl, ring bearer, groom, and finally the bride and her father, and it’s a beautiful spring day in Florida at a gorgeous venue, all is perfect right?

The highly astute coordinator is at the height of the moment as she sends Uncle Bob out to make the welcome announcements and start the much anticipated ceremony itself.

As Uncle Bob makes his way to the front of the ceremony site he takes a side bar with the harpist, unknowingly from any of the decision makers, which were the bride, Mom, and the coordinator, and he directs the harpist to play a Rod Stewart song when he points to her during the ceremony (nothing against Rod Stewart or his music). 

At this point the ceremony has started and there is no turning back now. The harpist can’t confer with any of the powers that be. It’s a split decision, does she choose not to leave poor Uncle Bob’s request dead on arrival, or choose not to embarrass the mother of the bride’s brother in front of a packed house.

So in the middle of the ceremony, as customary, the coordinator is motioning to Uncle Bob to please have the audience sit down since they were asked to stand for the presentation of the bride. He finally understands what the coordinator’s motions imply and eventually asks everyone to be seated and then cues to the harpist in a Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta, kind of way to start playing the song.

Oooh nooo!! Yes, as you can imagine, Uncle Bob belted out, in a very awkward manner, the lyrics and slightly off tune, the famous artist’s familiar words that, let’s just say, didn’t enhance the mood. 

From what I understood, the mother, bride, and most of the family were secretively humiliated, but at the sake of making the sweet, well intended Uncle Bob feel bad, they congratulated him at the end of what was described as a very shaky delivery of the ceremony that was probably due to nerves from a self perceived poor and unsolicited performance.

Similar stories of ceremony fiascos are becoming all too frequent. The moral of the story here is that unless the person that is performing your ceremony is a pastor, preacher or a professional wedding officiant, let’s allow friends, family, and yes, dear old Uncle Bob, to play a different role within your big day allowing family and friends to the enjoy and witness the ceremony, which is the heart of your wedding.